A few things have happened over the past month or so that have spurred me on to action. The boys are now 3 & 6; in many ways it doesn't get better than this. They can hold meaningful conversations, and still adore their parents. Still, I often find the joy in parenting distinctly lacking. Sadly the boys do pick up on this. One of my PhD students practiced a puppet interview on Harry and he very clearly stated that mummy does not like playing with him. And a few weeks ago before the boys' babysitter came over I was being particularly short-tempered, and Harry said, "I can't wait for Eve to come and for you to leave."
It's time to sort this whole parenting thing out.