The Demon Alcohol

Remember how I said I wouldn't be touching a drop of alcohol? Well, it hasn't quite worked out that way. I've had one glass most weeks. And it really sucks. Not enough for any kind of buzz, but one measly glass gives me a headache and makes me grumpy the next day. Totally not worth it. In all honesty, I just don't think I have the physiology for it.

What makes it hard is that I really don't like the connotations that go along with being teetotal. Earnest. Kill-joy. Dull. Humourless. I've decided to call it a full-on identity crisis. That's why it's so hard to give it up completely. Being a drinker is not quite my master status, but it was certainly in my top 5 for most of my adult life.

I had a really sick thought today. I think it would sound better if I could say that I'm an alcoholic, and that's why I don't drink. That would make me sound edgy. "It just doesn't agree with me, and makes me wish my children would go away," just doesn't cut it. I am absolutely appalled that I would have such an offensive thought. Perhaps appalled enough grow up.