Saturday, 8 March 2014

Arrival Fallacy

I definitely suffer from the arrival fallacy -- as soon as I get to X, everything will be better/I will be so happy. I have always been this way. In college, I couldn't wait to get to grad school, when completing my PhD, I constantly dreamed of lecturing, and now as a Reader, I can't wait to jump the final hurdle and finally be a Professor. Then I will have arrived. Then I will be truly happy about my work life. This is just a bit silly when it's about work, but it's downright stupid when it comes to family life.

We didn't have the easiest time having these two boys of ours. (We didn't have a horribly hard time either, I am well aware of that.) It took me 2.5 years to get pregnant, and in the last year, I was doubtful it would ever happen; I was desperately distressed about it. I could not wait to have a baby. Then I could not wait for Sian to have a baby so that we could get on with enjoying family life. My past self would have been horrified at my present self. I now cannot wait for both boys to be in school. Primary school age is my favourite stage, and it is true that I don't hark back to the baby days. Still, I am essentially wishing away the next 18 months, and that's crazy.

I am obsessed with Gretchen Rubin, and I found this video of hers today which definitely resonates with me. This is it. This is what I've been waiting for.


  1. Your entry today brought me up short. It is so true and so right. Everything will be great when Blah Blah Blah. I too have lived that way.

    Thanks again for this Blog. It is terrific.

  2. I really like your blog. I like the raw honesty. And I like learning things. I hadn't heard of the arrival fallacy before, but boy am I familiar with it!