I'm still not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be doing for these meditations; this isn't my sort of thing at all. But that doesn't stop me having high hopes. Two in particular. The most obvious is that I'm hoping that it will help me to be more present with my children. It made a big difference when (years ago) I banned myself from having my phone with me in the mornings. This will also surely help me to be in the moment when playing trains. I wish I liked playing these sorts of things, but I don't. However, I know that when I force myself to get into that sort of thing for 10 minutes, I sometimes really "see" their creativity, sense of fun, whatever, and that's nice. It's also worth the investment because that 10 minutes often turns into the boys playing on their own for another 20 minutes.
The other hope would be far more profound. I'm hoping this will make me better able to stop my quick, angry reactions. I have an inkling that I should be able to register my irritation/anger/frustration about something, "see" that feeling going through my mind. And then through seeing it, rather than just feeling it, be able to take the extra second to think how best to respond. Often the best response is to do nothing at all.
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